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THE PROJECT MANAGER'S GUIDE TO ALL THINGS METAPHYSICAL
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    • An Appeal ...

A Personal Introduction

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A main reason for my writing here is to bring together, in a coherent whole, what I’ve learned from life, from study, and, I hope, from God’s whisperings. It is thus an account of my life up till now, up till midlife -- part intellectual scrapbook and travelogue, part statement of a creed. It is my way of taking stock, to assess where I’ve come from, what I’ve learned, how I’ve grown, how I’ve failed, what things are next. There is instrumental value in such an undertaking; it will yield practical benefits. There is also intrinsic value in it; it is worthwhile in and of itself.

I write also as worship. I write to testify to God’s grace to me. I have no idea why God has been so good to me, but He has. I grew up in a family and a community in which the truth and grace of the Gospel were present. I’m married to a dear woman who, to have put up with me for over twenty-five years, has had to exemplify both great love for me and deep trust in God. I have three terrific adult children who are a joy and who will be, I’m confident, my greatest legacy. I’ve had the chance to read and study, to drink from the springs of knowledge, to learn from brilliant minds, both those living and the long dead. Moreover, at a number of key junctions, my life could have gone off the rails or could have been shunted into personal and intellectual dead ends. But God stepped in; He intervened. And so I must testify:
I love you, Lord, my strength. 

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; 
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  ​

I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.
The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.  

The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me.  

In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help.  
From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears....

He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.  

He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me.  
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. 
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me...

.. You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty.  

You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.  
With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.  

As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.  
For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.  

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he causes me to stand on the heights.  
He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.  
You make your saving help my shield, and your right hand sustains me; your help has made me great.  
You provide a broad path for my feet, so that my ankles do not give way....

The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior!.... 
(1)

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So, I testify because God’s grace to me is a fact that I ought to declare. I testify also to remind my cold, ungrateful heart of what He has done for me:
O to grace how great a debtor, Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.
(2)
Two sets of reasons thus far: toward God and toward me. Fair enough, one might say. But what claim do I have on others' attention? Why should I believe I have an insight, a perspective, a bit of knowledge that is worth the telling? That is so insightful that others should hear? Am I presumptuous, deluded? I can only say: "I don’t believe so." Others must be the judge. All I know is I am compelled to write and much of that writing is directed toward others. I want to: suggest, challenge, shed light on, inform, propose, provoke, reason with, and otherwise intellectually engage other people.  

This compulsion comes partly from a vague feeling of guilt -- what evangelical Christians would call “being convicted” -- that I can be cowardly or dishonest or, at the very least, insufficiently forthcoming when it comes to stating what I believe, what I stand for. Jesus said:
Ye are the salt of the earth:
but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? 

it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out,
and to be trodden under foot of men.

Ye are the light of the world.
A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick;
and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

Let your light so shine before men,
that they may see your good works,
​and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
(3)
In the past, I did a pretty good job at keeping my light under a bushel. I said little to colleagues, friends, fellow church members, or extended family about my views on politics, religion, or other topics not suitable for discussion over Thanksgiving dinner. I can say that, over the last few years, that has changed. I am bolder, more forthright. The reasons for this are various: I've grown. I'm more self-confident. I've (mostly) figured out how to say what I think, clearly, yet without animus. Moreover, the urgencies of our times -- in our politics, our culture, our churches -- have compelled me to take stands.  

These things said, engaging others in conversation or debate is, for me, still not a natural thing. I guess this is due to how I was raised. I truly hate to cause offense (easily done via social media in particular). I find it difficult to separate the logical clash of arguments from the emotional crash of persons (and even the most objective of us can get hurt feelings). To me, it is more satisfying to reconcile opposing perspectives than to drive wedges between them.

Moreover, due to certain habits of thought as well as my mental history, I can find it difficult to reason on the fly. I often need to write things out or have an extended conversation. Because I am a philosopher and an engineer, I want to give all the various reasons for and against, all the relevant aspects of a given idea or view. Because I seek to be objective, to be dispassionate and neutral, it is challenging for me to “plant my flag” on a given topic. This aversion to soundbites and elevator speeches can, I fear, lead to my being a conversational wallflower.

Truth be told, I am also skeptical of the efficacy of argumentation (even though I’m publishing this website). Someone has said: "85% of people don't think; 10% think they think, but merely rearrange their prejudices; and 5% think." (4) This may sound cynical. Perhaps the percentages are too skeptical. But there’s truth here. We often blithely go through life, failing to think about what we’re doing, why we’ve adopted certain priorities, whether we’re even on the right track. When we do make an attempt to think critically, it's more about justifying what we already believe and have chosen.

There’s a story about a man who placed a very long ladder against a very tall wall. After much huffing and puffing he finally reached the top -- only to find out he had placed his ladder against the wrong wall. I fear that may be true for many of us (as well as for the institutions with which we’re aligned). It’s possible that we'll reach the end of our life, walk (hopefully) through heaven’s gates, merely to learn that we had our assumptions, our beliefs, and our priorities quite wrong. There are few certainties in life. One thing that is certain, though, is that working hard to think well greatly improves your odds of getting your beliefs and choices right.

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This website, then, is my attempt to put my light on a candlestick, my cards on the table, my beliefs in plain sight. Here are some reasons others might find it of value: The history of my intellectual life is, I think, interesting and instructive. I know what it is to struggle with mental illness. I’ve been involved in more than one religious group labeled a “cult." I began my adult life as a Christian who was “fundamentalist;” I now seek to be a Christian "merely." (5) I once strongly identified with the political Right but am now emphatically Center-Left.

Moreover, I’ve worked in the arenas of commerce, construction, and manufacturing yet have also sojourned in the Academy. I’ve manufactured paper towels and have also written a dissertation on an important Catholic philosopher. I’ve worked with laborers from Honduras and with world-class philosophers. My education has involved courses in “heat transfer” and “engineering economics,” as well as ones in “systematic theology” and “Plato’s Theory of Forms.” My intellectual outlook has been shaped by interesting locales and cultures: the Deep South, Southern California, Northwest England, the Mid-Atlantic.


Another reason to read what I'm writing is that, despite its flaws, this website is an attempt, made in good faith, to wrestle with important questions in a way that is sober, courteous, and accessible. People often rail against the irrationality of our age. Whether our age is more irrational than others, I do not know. What is undoubtedly true is that our irrationalities get amplified and broadcast in ways and to degrees never before imaginable. Any attempt to address our intellectual pathologies -- both the craziness and the laziness -- should be welcomed.

It’s likewise common to bemoan the political and cultural polarization of American society, to the point of comparing it to the Civil War era. Even as bad as things are now -- and, as of July 2020, they are quite bad -- this comparison still seems rash. 
(6) What is indisputable, though, is that an unholy synergy of commerce and technology has made it the case that differences among us are magnified instantaneously, often out of all proportion or substance.

Growing up, my family got its news from 
The Albany Herald and NBC Nightly News. Now we are carpet-bombed with information, all day every day, Much "news" is really just people spouting off opinions. Much of this information is unmediated. Communities and subcultures that formerly were "over there" are now just a click away. Culture clashes are the inevitable result. Likewise, much of this information is insidiously targeted to reinforce our biases and so to corral us with others of similar bent. (7)  

The end result is rather like road rage: dehumanizing and dangerous. 
(8) So, yes, there is more than enough polarization to go round, polarization that is self-reinforcing, vicious, and destructive. My observation is that while many complain about division few take responsibility to empathetically engage The Other. This website is my -- no doubt minuscule -- effort to inject some sobriety, some seriousness, some empathy into this mixed-up mess. I hope you'll read it.

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Who are my "target audiences"? Again, I write primarily to myself. As to others, I hope the sorts of folks I spend my days and weekends with -- tradesmen and architects, physicians and engineers, scientists and general contractors, neighbors and church friends -- will find this site interesting. I hope the academics I’ve sojourned with might discover here bridges to those outside the Academy. I pray the skeptic, the one who has no truck with “God and stuff like that,” or the person who has been offended by or wounded by the perniciousness of “religiousity,” might find some light and some comfort.  

However, to own the truth, the audience that keeps pressing to the front of my brain is that comprised of the dear and good people with whom I grew up, attended church and seminary, and until relatively recently shared the same views on politics, faith, and much of life generally. Sociologists and pollsters would classify us as conservative evangelical Christians. (9) We believe in the Bible, that it’s God’s “inerrant Word;” in the need for personal salvation through Christ’s redeeming work on the Cross; in the importance of personal holiness; in the Ten Commandments; and in the Two Commandments:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind."  
This is the first and greatest commandment.  
And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself."  
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. (10)
Much has been written of us (in particular those of us who are white) -- especially since November 2016. In politics, we tend overwhelmingly to be "Red Staters,” conservatives who, though the heirs of intellectuals like Edmund Burke (11), and William F. Buckley, Jr. (12), are more visceral than intellectual, more reacting than conserving per se. We go in for a rich brew of patriotism; “Judeo-Christian principles;” confidence that “the American way” is self-evidently the best way; a “keep-your-hands-off” response to governmental intrusion in some areas (our kids and our guns); and a ready willingness to intrude in other areas (reproductive rights and gay marriage) where we feel important moral issues are at stake. 

In economics, we loathe taxes and handouts to the undeserving, while giving generously to our churches and to those in need. We’re sure that unfettered capitalism is self-evidently the best economic system, while decrying hedge fund managers and other “crony capitalists.” With respect to the culture at large, we are deeply suspicious -- to the point of assuming conspiracy -- of the “liberal, mainstream media,” though we’re quite happy to consume much of what it produces for our entertainment. As to science, we are dismissive of its claims about the past (human origins) and the future (climate change), though we readily embrace its practical fruits in medicine and smartphones.

Now, from as far back as I can remember I’ve been engaged in a project of “making things fit.” That is to say, I’ve tried to develop a picture of the world -- a sort of best explanation or overall understanding -- that integrates, that takes into account and makes coherent and consistent, everything I’ve observed, witnessed, or otherwise learned from a range of sources: my birth family, my religious upbringing, my early social sphere, my later social sphere, my reading, my studies, my work experiences, my marriage, my experiences as a parent, personal introspection and reflection, observation of the world around me, and so on. Everyone does this to some degree -- some only implicitly, others explicitly.  

For me, most of these sources were strongly influenced by conservative evangelical Christianity, as positively characterized above. Like the perfume that Mary poured on Jesus’ feet, which we’re told filled an entire house with its fragrance, (13) my life has been enriched by the gracious and good parts of this particular stream of Christian faith. Many find conservative evangelicalism deeply offensive -- for reasons I perfectly comprehend. But I am in profound debt to it. Though, like most things touched by humans, it has left me with scars, and though my understanding of its requirements brought me more than a little pain and confusion -- I am nevertheless in its debt. Consequently, I am unable to pen the sort of exposé of religious error or abuse, common enough these days and for ample reasons, simply because I’ve not suffered from significant error or abuse. Most likely this is because my excellent parents shielded me from the bad stuff and pointed me to the good. (Many, many people have not been so fortunate.)

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However this may be, in my mid-thirties it came to pass that I noticed a shift, subtle at first, in the texture, color, and even composition of my overall picture of the world. What I took to be the best global explanation of the observations I had made and of the things I had learned began to change. It took on a more intellectually rigorous and nuanced, as well as a more emotionally compelling and satisfying, quality. Like a snowpack that imperceptibly builds over months and years, the weight of all this finally came rolling down.

I began to explicitly adopt and defend positions that, only a few years earlier, I had roundly condemned. I shall try to explain, elsewhere and in more detail, how all of this happened. In many ways, though, it was simply the outworking of principles taught and modeled by my parents and the conservative evangelical community in which I grew up: to love Truth, to seek it passionately, to follow it where it leads; to expand my sources of knowledge as widely as possible; and to heed the words of Wisdom, that I seek Her:
My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; 
for length of days and years of life, and peace they will add to you.  
Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  
So you will find favor and good repute, in the sight of God and man.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.  
Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil...

How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding.  
For her profit is better than the profit of silver, and her gain better than fine gold.  
She is more precious than jewels; and nothing you desire compares with her.  
Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.  
Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.  
She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her, and happy are all who hold her fast... (14)

And:

Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live; acquire wisdom!  
Acquire understanding!  Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.  
Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; love her, and she will watch over you.  
The beginning of wisdom is:  Acquire wisdom; and with all your acquiring, get understanding.
Prize her, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her.  
She will place on your head a garland of grace; she will present you with a crown of beauty... (15)
So conservative evangelical Christianity is where I come from. And though, I reckon, I now fall more or less within the inchoate tribe named Progressive Evangelical, I am still connected to that original bedrock in sundry ways. As conservative evangelicalism is the ecosystem in which I’ve done a great deal of my thinking, it is natural that much of what I write here is in implicit conversation with that worldview.

Unfortunately, much of this dialogue will be as critique. Yet, to critique is not the same as to merely criticize or "judge." One can critique in white hot anger yet do so from a place of love, as the ancient Jewish prophets show. And as Proverbs says: "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." (27:6)

In fact, I would characterize the situation as that of two friends who, over time, have grown apart. If one comes to the other and begins, in earnest love, to point out things that concern him -- a change in his friend’s character, a discontinuity with past greatness, a lack of authenticity -- one may hope that the latter will be receptive of the former. That he will assume his intentions are good. That he will hear him out. That he will engage his arguments rather than merely dismiss them. After all, the two have a friendship; they have a history together. And these are things not to be thrown aside lightly. 

Perhaps, even, out of this some new, better tradition may emerge: a fusion of the groundedness of historic Evangelicalism with the concerns for justice of Progressivism with the knowledge to be found in God's other books, those of Science and the Humanities.

Footnotes
It is remarkable how the world has shifted -- and me within it -- in the six-and-a-half years since I first penned this Introduction. 2020 has so far seen both a once-in-a-century pandemic and also protests over racial injustice unlike any since the 1960s. Our political leadership at the national level seems near collapse; it is a farce at best. The conservative evangelical churches -- at least the white ones -- have recklessly thrown in their lot with a political leader and movement that I can only deem Anti-Christ. Their goal, largely, is to preserve cultural power -- even at the expense of the graciousness of the Gospel of Christ.

And yet for me, as for many others, the last years have been re-defining. This cultural moment has forced me to be active -- civically, politically, and in my church -- in ways I'd never anticipated. I have a clearer notion of what it means to follow Christ, to be "in the world yet not of it," to love my neighbor, and to work for the Common Good. 

(1) From Psalms 18 (NIV).


(2) "Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” Words by Robert Robinson.

(3) Matthew 5:13-16, (KJV).

(4) I’m told that the late Howard Hendricks said this or something like it.

(5) This is a reference of course to C.S. Lewis’ notion of “Mere Christianity” and his book of the same title. As to the word ‘fundamentalist’, one wag once described a fundamentalist as “that S.O.B. sitting just to the right of me.”

(6) Yes, we are indeed quite polarized. But ... more polarized than during Reconstruction? The age of the Robber Barons? Prohibition? The late-Sixties and early-Seventies? America has always played host to wildly divergent points of view; that’s part of its greatness. Arguably, there is more homogeneity now -- in terms of approaches to economics, assumptions about family structures, sex, and race, interests in sports and entertainment -- than ever. It wasn’t all that long ago that Roman Catholics and Jews were viewed with deep suspicion by the Protestant majority. Or that divorce was considered scandalous, rather than merely unfortunate, by most evangelical churches. Or that strikes by unions were frequent and debilitating. “Pop culture” (e.g., American Idol) is “pop” because it’s popular, ubiquitous, consumed by the masses.

Much has been written about polarization. A significant, recent book on the question is The Big Sort by Bill Bishop. 


(7) This question as to how commerce and technology are driving polarization -- through cable news, social media, and so on -- is now well-covered terrain.

(8) I once saw a fantastic commercial that showed what it would be like if shoppers in a supermarket behaved (as they often do) while driving: People screaming at each other in the produce section, giving each other “the finger” in the bakery, racing their shopping carts, cutting each other off at the checkout line. People of course rarely do such things at their local grocery store. When you are forced to interact personally with “the other," you tend to behave more kindly.

(9) There is such a thing as liberal evangelical Christianity -- Progressive Evangelicalism -- though it’s not nearly as noisy a creature as its conservative cousin. (President Jimmy Carter is the best known -- and just best! -- example of such. And our ranks are swelling.) An ambiguity arises here from the scope of the adjective ‘conservative’ (or ‘liberal’). Two evangelical Christians can be just as theologically orthodox (and in that sense conservative; e.g., on the historicity of the Resurrection or on affirming the Creeds) while differing widely in how their beliefs should be expressed or applied in society, politics, and economics. I will have more to say about such labels later, as well as how the branch that is evangelicalism fits on the tree that is Christianity as a whole.

The adjective 'white' should applied to 'conservative evangelical' throughout to give my prose here the best applicability -- sad to say. I've chosen to not stress the element of race here because it would complicate something that's intended to be a straightforward introduction. Yet talking about Whiteness is crucial if we're going to talk about conservative evangelicalism in America. It's white conservative evangelicals who have mucked this up. Again, much has been written about this matter of (white) evangelicalism and conservative / nationalist / Republican politics in America.


(10) Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV).

(11) Burke (1729-1797) is often considered the founder of modern political conservatism, though his views were actually more nuanced than is often realized.

(12) Buckley (1925-2008) is usually recognized as the father (both intellectually and organizationally) of the modern (post-war) American conservative movement, which in terms of direct politics began its rise with Barry Goldwater and (arguably) reached its zenith with Ronald Reagan. Many (most?) of the conservative politicians (e.g., George W. Bush), personalities (e.g., Rush Limbaugh), and movements (e.g., the Tea Party) since then are, intellectually and morally, dingy reflections of those men and their ideas. As I understand it, Buckley’s genius was to fuse American traditionalism about social mores with a free-market approach to economics with an anti-communist foreign policy. Sprinkled throughout this mix was a libertarian ethos that emphasized the individual over the group. (See his Obituary in the New York Times on February 27, 2008; Buckley’s “Mission Statement” for The National Review [the conservative magazine he founded] written on November 19, 1955 [which is here: http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/223549/our-mission-statement/william-f-buckley-jr], as well as the Wikipedia article under his name.)

(13) John 12:3 (NIV).

(14) From Proverbs 3 (NASB).

(15) From Proverbs 4 (NASB). I am aware that the Old Testament notion of wisdom is different than that of intellectual knowledge per se. As I understand it, such wisdom has to do with knowing and applying the Law in one’s life. Nevertheless, there is an intellectual component to this obviously. Also, the author of Proverbs speaks of “instruction” and “understanding;” and he provides much practical direction. (Indeed, much of the advice sounds like what my dad told me, and what I tell my kids, about specific issues: “Don’t be an idiot! That is a dumb idea! This is good idea! So do this!”) The requirement to think is implicit in all this. Moreover, for me growing up Wisdom as personified in Proverbs took on an explicitly intellectual aspect. She became to me as Socrates was to the young men of Athens.

Original 1/26/14.  Substantial revisions 4/4/14.  Minor revisions 12/31/14. Substantial revisions 7/7/20. 
Copyright 2020 by Brian Russell Pinkston
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